Fun Comes in a Variety of Colors
by ScarletInk
Summary: In accordance with her stuffed teddybear made by grandma image, Cameron attempts to lighten House's day with a fun present... leading the two to discover that fun comes in a variety of colors.
1. Fun Comes In A Variety Of Colors

**Fun Comes in a Variety of Colors**

Disclaimer: You know the drill.

"Doctor Cameron checking in," said the brunette woman, readjusting the strap of her bag on her left shoulder as she moved towards the counter to set down a large plate that she had been balancing in her right hand. The receptionist nodded as she clicked something on her computer screen, pausing, and typing the time. 

"You're a bit early, today, doctor," the receptionist said with a smile, the kind of play-acting smile, Doctor Cameron noted mentally, that anyone with any degree of social skill always used and hardly ever meant. Of course, speaking of social skills….

"Doctor Cameron!" A voice rang out over the lobby of Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. She knew that voice only too well.

"Doctor House," Cameron said, mimicking the receptionist's smile as she turned to face her boss. She watched him limp in his characteristic way toward her and then stop halfway. He paused for a second, giving her an inquisitive look. After a dramatic pause, he spoke.

"What? You expect me to come all the way over there? Can't you see I'm crippled?" And with that, he turned around and began to limp towards the clinic. Cameron rushed after him.

"Your office is that way," she said, pointing towards the elevators at the back of the lobby. Without stopping, House smirked and raised his eyebrows, his trademark way of saying, "Yeah, so?" before replying.

"Yes. Don't worry, Cameron, it's only 8 in the morning, I'm not too stoned to remember. Besides, there are signs." He pointed at one such sign with is cane.

"Why are you going to the clinic?" Cameron asked, deciding to ignore House's early-morning antics, of which there were plenty. House shrugged.

"I felt the call of my civic duty," House replied with the air of someone who was sharing a private joke with himself. He continued forward through the glass doors underneath big, white letters that read "CLINIC" and into the waiting room lobby area. Doctor Cameron followed, at a momentary loss of words.

"Um… it's your birthday," Cameron tried, not entirely sure why she had followed House into the clinic and now looking for a reason to cover up. Following House had become a deeply ingrained habit developed by all three of his fellow doctors.

House paused and turned to Cameron again, brows furrowed, an expression of concern on his face.

"Is it your goal to keep telling me things that I already know? Because you're making good timing today."

Cameron rolled her eyes and House's eyes slid down to the plate she was holding in her hand.

"_What_ are those?" said House, nodding at the colorful confections arranged neatly under the plastic wrap.

"I made cookies," Cameron said, motioning to the brightly frosted and sprinkled sugar cookies she had baked freshly just that morning.

House raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Cameron continued.

"They're colorful. They're _fun_. They're for you." Almost immediately, Cameron new that she had wasted the last three sentences.

"By _fun_, do you mean strip-poker-and-a-bottle-of-vodka-_fun_, or comes-in-a-variety-of-seventeen-different-colors-_fun_?"

"Just take them," Cameron said, thrusting the plate at House unceremoniously, beginning to regret the hours of sleep lost for the sake of baking ridiculous cookies for an ungrateful boss. House ignored her.

"There's a new case, the file's upstairs. Chase and Foreman aren't in yet, so you can go ahead and get all fuzzy over it before they get here. Just clean up after you're done, you know, put the tissue box back where you found it and wash your face after. Puffy eyes really don't do you justice." With that, House began to turn on his heel and leave.

"Where are you going?" Cameron shouted loudly at House's back. He looked over his shoulder.

"Going to talk to _fun_ people," he said, jerking his head toward a hung-over looking teen with brightly dyed hair of various colors who was wearing several candy necklaces and a pacifier. House hesitated. "...Well, _fun_ by _your_ standards," he muttered before stalking away.

**This may be a Oneshot, but that depends on the feedback...**

**This little baby is a thing I wrote after a random burst of inspiration. Actually, it was after seeing Martha Stewart on tv making cookies with all sorts of sprinkly decorations on them and insisting on how "fun" they were, thus causing me to wonder about the definition of "fun" in general.**


	2. Red

**Red**

Disclaimer: Are these even really necessary, or is it just the cool thing to do?

Doctor Cameron was just sitting down in a tiny red plastic chair in the playroom of the Pediatric Oncology Department when her pager went off. She smiled at all the adorable children, some of them with IV stands connected, who instantly dropped their toys and came over as she set about half the cookies she had baked down on a plastic table that was equally diminutive as her plastic chair.

She got up with some difficulty from her seat, which was instantly filled with a small, bald boy who was vying to reach for a cookie. Glancing at her pager, Dr. Cameron rolled her eyes at the ceiling in exasperation when she read "House, Consult". She had _just_ been downstairs! Did he have to call her right now, of all times? Cameron loved the children at the hospital, especially the ones in the Oncology wing, because of all the joy they seemed to possess, despite their circumstances.

After hesitating a moment, Dr. Cameron sighed, tightened the plastic wrap on the half-full platter of cookies, turned around to exit the playroom through the large glass doors, and stopped abruptly in a startling moment as she came face to face with Doctor Wilson through the glass. She smiled at him, a smile that he returned, and he opened the door for her.

"Doctor Wilson," Cameron said politely, with a smile.

"Hello, Doctor Cameron," the oncologist returned her greeting. "What are these? Cookies?" Wilson glanced over Cameron's shoulder into the playroom and deduced from the empty paper plate and the crumb-covered children what Cameron must have been up to in the Oncology department.

"Yeah, want one?" Cameron asked, offering the plate to Wilson.

"Nah, I'd love one, but I shouldn't," he said, holding up his hand in the mime of a stop sign. Cameron pouted.

"That's two rejections in less than an hour! At least you acknowledged them, though, House ignored them entirely…."

"Really?" Wilson said, feigning a mildly surprised look. "They're hard to miss. Very colorful. House was probably afraid of how cheerful they looked, afraid of ingesting all that happiness." Cameron chuckled.

"Well, I'd better go, he's just paged me for a consult," said Cameron doubtfully, finally leaving the doorway and starting down the broad hallway decorated sporadically with fake trees.

"Hope you know how to play Space Monkey Adventures!" called Wilson after her, referring to House's usual pastime during the workday.

* * *

Cameron knocked sharply on the door of Exam Room 3.

"Enter," she heard House say in his classic, loud tone. She turned the knob and slipped through the door, shutting it behind her. Cameron looked at House (looking at her), and the "fun" kid from earlier (looking at the wall), looking as though he was not even aware of her presence. She cleared her throat.

"Doctor Cameron, you're just in time!" House said, his voice laced with irony.

"For what, to see you begin work for the day?" Cameron shot back, attempting a test flight with her sarcasm which, although she didn't like to admit it, remained fairly unused.

"For a little _fun_!" House said, putting on a show of cheerfulness and excitement. "Where have you been, anyways? You nearly missed it, all that fun-ness. I mean, at the rate this guy is moving…." The teenager finally shifted his focus from the bottle of hydrogen peroxide on the counter to (what Cameron supposed) was an invisible spot on the wall just past House's head.

"I was giving cookies to sick children, who, unlike you, appreciated them." Cameron said plainly. House stared before bursting suddenly into loud and very obviously sarcastic guffaws.

"Oh, good one! Nice. Well, I won't keep you, wouldn't want you to be late for your Save The Whales convention at ten."

"I was serious."

"So was I. We're doctors, we're always serious… practically _fun-killers_!" House said with a sarcastic look of At this the teenager awakened from his reverie enough to grunt a disconcerted "huh?" in House's general direction. House swiveled on his stool to face him and smirked.

"No offense, I wasn't talking about you." The teenager stared. House rolled his eyes.

"J-K! L-O-L," House enunciated slowly. A look of dawning comprehension appeared on the teen's face, and Cameron couldn't help but smile. "You're hung over," House said in an equally slow, clear voice. "Lay off the eggnog for a while," he said, glancing out the window at the snow-covered branches of a small tree just outside. He then stood up abruptly and snapped the file closed in one motion while reaching for his cane, which was lying across the sink, before striding swiftly past Cameron and out the door.

"And get some coffee on the way out!" he called from the hallway, gaining a few earnest glances from two busy nurses. Cameron, after deciding that any pretend politeness in this kid's presence would go completely unnoticed and, therefore, any lack of farewell greeting would not be considered impolite, left to hurry after House.

"You're still here?" House asked over his shoulder as though surprised, although in reality he was anything but.

"I assumed you were going to your office," came Cameron's aggrieved reply, wondering why she had chosen to wear high heels today and feeling a bit annoyed at the fact that the man with the cane was beating her to the elevator by at least five feet.

"How smart of you," came House's reply, his tone as clipped and precise as the tapping of his cane. "Did you also assume that behind the closed blinds of my window there's a hooker waiting for me in my office chair?"

Cameron was silent, blushing slightly; she could not see the glint of amusement in House's eyes. The two arrived at the elevator, and House, ignoring Cameron's silence, punched the button. A second later the doors opened with a ding, and the two doctors walked on. Suddenly, House changed his tone.

"Here we go in the magical box that takes us to our destination!" he said with false excitement, as though elevators were his new invention making their first debut. "Push that button, little girl, there's no telling where we'll pop up!" he said, indicating the floor where his office was located. Cameron sighed, wondering what point her boss was trying to prove now.

"I'm not a child, House."

House replied with a doubtful facial expression. "Hmmm… then why'd you get all quiet and bashful at my hooker remark?"

"What was I supposed to say?" Cameron asked exasperatedly as the elevator doors closed in a final sort of way, as though emphasizing her point. She felt the downward pulling of gravity in her stomach as the elevator started upwards. "Sex makes me uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry," House replied, "It makes _me_ feel great!" He paused for dramatic effect, and also to watch the look on Cameron's face, secretly enjoying his own snide remarks. "There's medication for that, you know," he continued, "and I'm sure a little practice…." House trailed off, with a sensual manipulation of his eyebrows.

"I didn't mean it like that!" Cameron stuttered.

"Oh look, here she goes again, all hot and bothered." House said with satisfaction and the air of an oblivious parent talking about their embarrassed child. "You know, red is a _great_ color on you," House added, ignoring Doctor Cameron's begrudging stare. "It's _fun_!," he continued wish such a sarcastic attitude it almost bordered on cruelty. "You know what'd be even more fun? Red lace! And I'm not talking about accessories, here, I'm talking the real-"

DING!

The elevator doors opened and Cameron fled (in a dignified sort of way) down the hallway and into the conference room adjoining House's office. House limped slowly and casually, satisfied, in her wake. By the time he had entered through the glass door Cameron was busy making a very noisy pot of coffee, slamming things down haphazardly and nearly losing the sugar container to the trash can twice. Chase and Foreman were seated at their usual spots around the table, reviewing the file with knowing looks on their faces. House's arrival appeared to be only an unnecessary explanation to Cameron's flustered mood.

As soon as Cameron noticed House, or rather, heard the door close, followed by the punctuating taps of his cane, Cameron sloshed some coffee into the nearest coffee mug and headed for the chair that she predicted would be furthest from House the majority of the time.

House headed for the coffee pot automatically, but stopped just short before swiveling on the spot towards Cameron, who immediately plastered on a closed expression and rose to join Chase and Foreman at the table. Before she had gone two steps, however, House had intercepted her ("How can he be so fast? Does he really need that cane?" Cameron asked herself.)

"I don't want to talk to you right now, please leave a message, or better yet, don't," muttered Cameron, not looking at House. He ignored her.

"You have my coffee cup," he said simply, his hand shooting out for the mug she held in her hand. Cameron looked down; in her hands was the unmistakably bright red coffee cup. House's coffee cup. Cameron, annoyed, let House take it from her, glancing at him as he took a sip, cringed, and muttered something about cream and sugar.

"I don't know if you heard me before, Cameron," House said quietly, "but I said red '_lace_,' not 'porcelain.' Oh," he added in a louder voice as he walked away, "and I like my coffee black."

**Soooo… how'd you like it? Reviews are greatly appreciated, they let me know what you like. And by the way, Happy New Year! Go celebrate, but lay off the eggnog! Have fun, wear something red… or steal someone's coffee cup ;)**


End file.
